i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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