dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
