I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
