you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize