Plan B is the new Plan A
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
