He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
