I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
