the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
