It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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