4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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