i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize