We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
