Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
