my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
