I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
