I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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