fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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