Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
