and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it glows. i had to have it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize