Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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