His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Watching her eat just hurts me
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
