I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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