make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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