Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
