Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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