1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
