she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
