yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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