I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize