you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
