since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
