Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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