It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She needs sedatives and a leash
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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