Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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