Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
