Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
