Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
