i think my mom watched the whole time
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
