do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
