I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
