True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
