I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
