yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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