call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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