You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's rum buckets o'clock
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
