it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
