Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
