About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize