just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
