Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
