I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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