i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
