I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
