david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize