I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
