im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She swung at the pinata with crutches
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
