Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize