U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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