it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
