now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
